I have faced so many changes in life. Never once I had found it hard to adapt. The latest one being the most challenging of all, I am slowly starting to enjoy it though loneliness creep into my mind more than often.
Now I can confidentally say that I can be independant. I am ready to face anything and everything. Life has changed alot and never had I thought in my wildest dream to be what I am now. What I am lacking now is what I term it as 'priceless'.
Physically I am drained! I had a day off from office because of Ram Navmi but that day happened to be the day when we had a match against another sub division of my project. As usual, other than for cricket and football, you can never even have hope of me waking up early in the morning.
I woke up early in the morning, had a cup of chai and had gone to the ground in dadar, mumbai for the match. It is peak summber time here, and any time after 10, you will find the heat unbearable! We started the match exactly at 830 hoping to capitalize on the early morning 'chillness'. Our team won the toss and as usual batted first. I was lined up in the middle and seven out of ten times it will be in a situation where I will have to slog. This time around although I started of well, but didnt last long as I got out for 12 (Disappointment number one).
Fielding is one of my favourite activities, and since we had lots of fast bowlers they had asked me to do the wicket keeping as we were expecting many nick catches. Without any second thoughts I agreed thinking that it would be the best place to be in the scorching sun but it turned otherwise. As expected lots of nick were there but all were thick edges and it went for runs! and I had to run all the way back to field since we had no slip.
In one of those attempt to stop the ball, the ground being muddy I slipped and fell and thankfully that slip allowed me to stop the ball earlier than expected but none of them in the ground knew I had slipped instead were thinking i slided and stopped the ball showing great committment :D The sad part here is my back was gone!! that was a real ackward drop which my back collided so hard with the ground! :( (it has almost been a week and Im still having the pain :()
Just when I was thinking, ok it is one of those days, a spin bowler bowled and so I stepped up to keep up to the stumps. My bad luck, the first ball, I got hit at a place where it is not supposed to get hit! that ached like anything. For a moment my head started to roll! Although the impact was light, it was a unique kind of pain which is hard to explain and only guys know!
Finally when I headed back home, I thought a good rest would put off all these only to face different kind of problems! When I tried to sleep straight, back was aching and when I tried to front facing downwards, front was aching! I couldnt sit because of back ache. Hmm all I can do now is to say to myself 'All Izzz Well' :)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
It has been slightly more than a year since the new phase of my life began. I could see a difference in myself - what I was a year back and what I am now. A simple but funny example would be, during my college days I wouldn't even get the output(desired result) for a single lab exam. What I used do is just sit for 2 hours, browse the net, answer few viva questions without any preparation, knowing that my college staffs will take care of my result. It not only showed my laziness and poor attitude but also the unwillingness to code because I hate coding! Please dont ask then why I joined computer science. Thats for some other day..:)
Today out of nowhere while going to office in the train, I received a call from my module leader asking me to rush to office for an urgent client meeting. I was like thinking, why the hell am I needed for a client meeting. It was supposed to be had with top level client management and from our side the project leader, gm, business analysts and the respective module leaders!
I rushed to office, not even waiting for the lift, climbing up 6 floors only to know that the meeting has been postponed to post lunch! But there was no twist as the time eventually came when we gathered in a very big conference room. I felt odd in that room firstly because I couldn't still imagine myself to be part of it. Secondly no one else were of my level in that room as this time last year I was just a trainee. :D
I came to terms that I am also part of it and started to focus and gain as much as possible. The experience was something out of the world because it was not one of those typical day to day meeting which we have in office internally. I silently observed all the heavy discussion between my side business analysts and the client, posing and having a sitting posture as though even I am a biggie :D, not knowing that the eventual bomb is going to be lashed on me!
When everything concluded, I thought it was just another day, and went for lunch. As soon as I came back, the shocker was revealed - That I need to lead my team for 3development works out of which 2 are going to be developed parallely and for that I will have to lead my team as my current module leader is leaving!
All I had wanted in this project is to run through my contract period, get a transfer and leave but the person above seems to have other ideas but definately I can sense that I am about to practically stand on fire for atleast the next few months.
Now for a person who scraped through all the college lab exams, isn't this a bit too much? :)
Today out of nowhere while going to office in the train, I received a call from my module leader asking me to rush to office for an urgent client meeting. I was like thinking, why the hell am I needed for a client meeting. It was supposed to be had with top level client management and from our side the project leader, gm, business analysts and the respective module leaders!
I rushed to office, not even waiting for the lift, climbing up 6 floors only to know that the meeting has been postponed to post lunch! But there was no twist as the time eventually came when we gathered in a very big conference room. I felt odd in that room firstly because I couldn't still imagine myself to be part of it. Secondly no one else were of my level in that room as this time last year I was just a trainee. :D
I came to terms that I am also part of it and started to focus and gain as much as possible. The experience was something out of the world because it was not one of those typical day to day meeting which we have in office internally. I silently observed all the heavy discussion between my side business analysts and the client, posing and having a sitting posture as though even I am a biggie :D, not knowing that the eventual bomb is going to be lashed on me!
When everything concluded, I thought it was just another day, and went for lunch. As soon as I came back, the shocker was revealed - That I need to lead my team for 3development works out of which 2 are going to be developed parallely and for that I will have to lead my team as my current module leader is leaving!
All I had wanted in this project is to run through my contract period, get a transfer and leave but the person above seems to have other ideas but definately I can sense that I am about to practically stand on fire for atleast the next few months.
Now for a person who scraped through all the college lab exams, isn't this a bit too much? :)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Point of Realisation
I am a true believer of the word co-incidence. I feel that from the day I was born till the time what I am now, co-incidence has played a huge role in my life. It is more than just a word for me.
When all things seem to have been going right, I felt I am the best person to have born in this life. But at the same time things have gone terribly wrong as well, and to pass through that period was really tough but end result what I gained through that? EXPERIENCE!. It feels good to love and be loved. However bad 'love' is getting misused in today's world, I am a true lover of that word and I know its worth. I fully understand its meaning and with so much emotions filled in my heart I want to experience it! I want to show how it is done and how correctly it should be done. It is not any movie influence or any other external influence but just my own realisation.
Once upon I time I was given so much love to the extent that I felt gifted and theres nothing else better I can get. But when the tides turned, I realised that everything else I get is better than what I had got in the past and that was the point when I realised that there is a just a thin line lying between the word love and hate. But it is not the case now. Immatureness, temptations and along with that nature had played a huge role in my mannerism or ill say things that I shouldnt have done. The plus point of mine which I am supposed to be using for good effect, I am using for things that I need not necessarily be using it - MEMORY. It is a god given gift that my memory on anyone and anything remains, each and every small incidents with whoever it is meant to be with I can pinpoint it anytime. And when in the case where you have done 1000's of memorable and good things with me, it will erase away the one single unwanted thing which is done with me, however severe it maybe. Now that I am more mature, I know what I want, I can predict what it will lead to and of course I am in a position to risk evaluate it to the point where I know I can never lose what I have gained. Whatever I have lost it was meant for losing and not for winning. I want to win whatever is meant for winning and I badly want to win it because that is worth more than anything, even my own life!
Now, coming back to the topic, Co-incidence has led the way to what I am now. Now I know what I want. The time has come where I need to take a huge step forward in my life. No matter what happens I will have to step in but whether I will step with the right foot forward, again Co-incidense will decide it. But for that to happen, one should realise it, I have realised it.. have you??? yes you!!! :) :)
When all things seem to have been going right, I felt I am the best person to have born in this life. But at the same time things have gone terribly wrong as well, and to pass through that period was really tough but end result what I gained through that? EXPERIENCE!. It feels good to love and be loved. However bad 'love' is getting misused in today's world, I am a true lover of that word and I know its worth. I fully understand its meaning and with so much emotions filled in my heart I want to experience it! I want to show how it is done and how correctly it should be done. It is not any movie influence or any other external influence but just my own realisation.
Once upon I time I was given so much love to the extent that I felt gifted and theres nothing else better I can get. But when the tides turned, I realised that everything else I get is better than what I had got in the past and that was the point when I realised that there is a just a thin line lying between the word love and hate. But it is not the case now. Immatureness, temptations and along with that nature had played a huge role in my mannerism or ill say things that I shouldnt have done. The plus point of mine which I am supposed to be using for good effect, I am using for things that I need not necessarily be using it - MEMORY. It is a god given gift that my memory on anyone and anything remains, each and every small incidents with whoever it is meant to be with I can pinpoint it anytime. And when in the case where you have done 1000's of memorable and good things with me, it will erase away the one single unwanted thing which is done with me, however severe it maybe. Now that I am more mature, I know what I want, I can predict what it will lead to and of course I am in a position to risk evaluate it to the point where I know I can never lose what I have gained. Whatever I have lost it was meant for losing and not for winning. I want to win whatever is meant for winning and I badly want to win it because that is worth more than anything, even my own life!
Now, coming back to the topic, Co-incidence has led the way to what I am now. Now I know what I want. The time has come where I need to take a huge step forward in my life. No matter what happens I will have to step in but whether I will step with the right foot forward, again Co-incidense will decide it. But for that to happen, one should realise it, I have realised it.. have you??? yes you!!! :) :)
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