FootuBall!!!

It was one hectic of a schedule lately to rush to office, finish off all work and rush back home just for one thing. :) FOOTBALL :)

World Cup is one event I always look forward to. There was a time when I used to be an addict, with so much of exposure to football, not just watching but also playing. I thought of just expressing my views on the latest edition of World Cup.

France:

Although the current team can never match the quality of 98 World cup winning french team, I expected atleast some decent results from them. They lacked displicine and completely out of sorts and deservingly out of the first round.

Italy:

Once represented by living legends like Maldini, Del Peiro, Roberto Baggio, this Italian team lacked the experience. I thought Del Piero shouldve been included in the current team to give the flair which was missing. They really lacked the class acts of players like these still I expected them to atleast come out of the first round, yet again a huge disappointment.

England:

I never had hopes on this team. I have always thought that England is an over hyped team inspite of having 'stars' like Roonie, Gerrard and Lampard. Defence was a joke and as expected they didnt progress losing to a German team that was unstoppable.

Brazil:

Frankly, I thought Brazil would go on to win the world cup and my money was on them eventhough they were not at their usual best. I thought they were clinical and in football what matters most is that to score 1 goal more than the opponent and thats exactly what brazil were doing till the QF. Kaka was disappointing as he has been with Real until now. I personally like him as a player a lot and according to me he is still the best player in the world although the form suggests otherwise. As the famous goes, form is temporary and class is permanent. I expected them to beat Holland but that didnt happen.

Argentina:

Argentina was hugely dependent on Messi. I truely respect this player. He is more than just a football player! He has pace, flair 3 defenders are too less to contain him! He didnt score a single goal in the tournament but words just can't explain how much he impressed me with his skill. He is one reason that I will be following Barcelona more than usual. On a day in which they were expected to beat Germany, they were convincingly beaten by a clinical German side who showed the world what counter-attacking means. I nevertheless never expected Argentina to be kicked out in this fashion but credit of course goes to Germans. A perfect example of football being a team game than an individuals.

Germany

A young and promising team with class, skill and composure! They played as a team and won matches in style. Beating england and argentina by 3 goals and 4 goals margin respectively is no fluke. Counter-attacking football at its best! They knew how to break the defence and they did it in style.

Spain

Champion material! one of the favorites to win the world cup but they had always been in all the world cups but never lived to that expectation. This time though they played with lots of confidence and flair, the spanish way and won the world deservingly.

I Hate Love Stories..!

I knew this would all happen. When I first met him, I just thought he is another ordinary guy but destiny prevailed and brought me to him so close yet so far now. We 'geled' well and stood together through thick and thin. We played all games and did all activities together which no one else would've done.

I hate love stories is the movie which is running on theatres now but how much I go by this statement, no one else knows except him. On second thoughts, it is not that I hate love, in fact I love being loved and give love but yet it will never materialize in my book of life.

I made this very clear several times but I guess it fell on deaf ears. I never knew I am this much worth but all it gave me was a sense of satisfaction that there are people out there who care and show affection on me.

He would be the first person to wish me on all occasions and this made me have special affection over him. But never had I imagined myself being a life partner with him. The thought of it even gave me goosebumps and I just didnt want that to happen although I have had lots of memorable and unforgetable experiences with him.

The day which I was not looking forward to, came a little sooner than expected although I knew it is about to come anytime. I was stuck totally and did not know how to handle the situation although I have faced quite alot. This is something I hate to do but I have to do and I did it.

All I hope for now is things wouldn't change and be normal or even better in a right context. I know I can never find a sweeter person in my life. Every occasion of mine will read a letter from him saying something that would make me feel warm but yet all I can do is to just read and save it in my mind. One of those letters read,

" Dear, I wish I had not done that but I had to do it. Hoping that everythig is fine and you are in safe hands being taken care of like a gem. I hope you have not shredded single drop of tear and living your life with full of happiness and joy. Cheers, Yours lovingly......."

For all he knows, I might have not shredded a single drop of tear but reading this would definately make me do it. I still have the regret of not sharing my entire view on this for which I have always had a guilt of making him fall into a trap. I wish he had not fallen into it but.......

All I would be looking for in each and every occasion is his letter with which I assumed that he is safe and well but this time I did not get any, and thats when I knew he is no more........

Coincidence's play...

Getting to know you was probably the best thing that has happened to me. I have met and mingled with so many people but never with anyone I have had and felt this much effect in me. It is not any cine kind of effect or anything which might strike to anyone reading this but all these are truely and deeply felt.

Coincidense play a huge rule in the situation I am at now. Nothing till now was planned and the best part is everything has worked and clicked when unplanned. The day when we coincidentally happened to be together in a group and you coming to me and speaking was never even given a thought or planned yet it happened.

Even then I didnt imagine our bonding will develop to the phase it is at now. You were having this magnetic effect which made me hard to switch attention from you. Coincidense again came in when we met at the cooler. I am still wondering why should I come there in the middle of the class when you were also there. That was the first time I looked into your eyes. Your eyes were red, a little watery because of the shedded tears. However hard you tried to hide your emotions from me,I managed to read a lot about you at that instance.

It was actually from that point, I had more than normal eagerness to know about you. I again left it to coincidence to bring us closer because it is never in my nature to plan and execute anything related to these.

Again it(coincidence) played its game. Just when I was down and left out(you know when), you came to me, it was actually a pleasant shock and it was plain instincts that made me ask you to sit with me for which you agreed. All my worries vanished just by that feel that you are beside me and a little bit of excitement started to grow.

The first outing with you, though short but it was really memorable. It was not meant to be a date sort of outing but we made it look like one as we did everything that was not meant to be done in that outing as in the purpose of the outing didnt get solved. That was the first time I had dinner with you, not a big candle light but yet a very nice and simple one. Simplicity, one of the key characteristics I like in you. One more reason for which I liked this outing a lot was because when I didnt even expect you to come to this level, you actually exceeded my expectation, which showed the level of trust you had in me even at that point. Finally the main reason for which I liked it was because it was just the two of us and nobody else.:)

The second outing we planned was mainly because in our first outing the purpose was not solved. Thank god it didnt solve during our first meeting because this one was even better and more adventurous! This was one outing I will never ever forget in my entire life. Everything was perfect till that incident which I am not going to mention here. It eventually even became the talk of the surroundings!

Naturally because of all these my comfort level with you was hitting peak high! I dont know if people around us are smarter or is it that I was making certain things look so obvious. But I dont think it is the latter because whatever I did was natural and due to plain instincts and nothing else :).

We did everything together and there was never a time when you made me feel lonely except maybe once.:P From once in a while, to weekly, and then to day in day out meeting sessions at the 'beach' including all the walking sessions were some of the moments which I will cherish for my lifetime. Finally the day came when we hard to part. I just couldnt look into your eyes early in the morning that day, not because of lack of sleep but because of the thought of parting. It was really a tough pill to swallow as by then I had already made up my mind that I wouldnt meet a better person in my life but then life has to move on and it moved on.

The day when I came to send you off, I would be lying if I tell that I came to send of everyone else but it was not that way as I just came for you. From then on till now the time I am writing this I have never met you but the bonding never decreased in any way, infact it is more than ever now and it would definately keep on increasing! But now whether I will have to leave coincidense t bring us closer or if I am asking too much from coincidense and if it is time for me to take it on in my hands, time will tell..:)

the END of the new BEGINNING?

Its been almost a year since I touched a football. I remember the craze I had back during school days. My school timings will be from 1230 to 630 pm and there wont be a single day I will enter my class room without playing football. My school was known for football more than studies. I still feel it is the influence of my school as well as my friends back then that I inhabited this much interest in football.

That was the base for bigger things to come actually. Commitment is a strong word in my life. I've learnt if you commit yourself for anything, things automatically work. Yes, I wanted to become a professional and I worked towards it. My school had a strong football team and I played a major part in it. Before every year, there will be a selection process happening to select some 20 players out of some 100. Some of us were automatic choice as we had been representing zonal level and few even national level. The matchdays will be an experience of its own. It will be like a both sets of supporters will get permision to come to the stadium to support the respective teams and it is a huge motivation for us as players for more than 1 reason if I can recollect :P.

That was set as a base for me to achieve even bigger heights in football as I was selected to represent the under-18 level of a top league team. I never expected in the first place to be selected. I went just to try my luck and everything clicked and the joy which I got out of it was immence. These were some of my 'high' times of life. I have never felt more proud of myself at these times. I play more than study which used to be a very big turn off for my mother. I failed lots of class tests but I never cared because all I wanted was to pursue my interest. I was achieving a lot in this as I stacked up my cabinet with plenty of trophies! But all my parents wanted from me was to get good grades.

I injured myself pretty badly while playing, which has been still having effects at this time, but that has never been a block for me from playing. At one point of time I was sidelined because of an injury, but I went for physiotheraphy sessions, gym and all things that made my recovery fast just to play.

It all came to an end when I was forced to quit it because of it having too much effect on my studies. It was one feeling that I never want to experience again in life. It was like coming close to something yet so far, that kind of feeling!

When I came to chennai, I represented my college team. It was like a complete different scenerio from the football I used to play. But I was like who cares, as long as I get to kick the ball! My college didnt give any sort of support, we as a group usually gathered after college to train. I still found those times very memorable and enjoyable. It gave me an opportunity to rekind the interest which once I used to be mad. My fitness was at par eventhough it was long since I played but I felt a little rusty as the conditions were different. We went together for lots of tournament, eventhough didnt win it but had loads of fun which was our primary goal. JETS tournament was something I would like to forget though. That was when I broke my leg and had an operation. That was one bad time of my life as I was bedridden for almost the entire semester! I never thought I would play football again in my life but once again I recovered. How much ever I get hit, there is some driving force in me which brings me back to normal and this mainly is due to the love I have in this sport. That was though the last competitive match I played and ever since after that I just have my football and juggle inside my room. The only game I played was to juggle as many times as possible beating my own record.(the record now being 240)

Now, I am completely handicapped as it has been almost a year since I touched it eeven which is a very sad story :( I miss it alot :(

All Izzz Welll!

I have faced so many changes in life. Never once I had found it hard to adapt. The latest one being the most challenging of all, I am slowly starting to enjoy it though loneliness creep into my mind more than often.

Now I can confidentally say that I can be independant. I am ready to face anything and everything. Life has changed alot and never had I thought in my wildest dream to be what I am now. What I am lacking now is what I term it as 'priceless'.

Physically I am drained! I had a day off from office because of Ram Navmi but that day happened to be the day when we had a match against another sub division of my project. As usual, other than for cricket and football, you can never even have hope of me waking up early in the morning.

I woke up early in the morning, had a cup of chai and had gone to the ground in dadar, mumbai for the match. It is peak summber time here, and any time after 10, you will find the heat unbearable! We started the match exactly at 830 hoping to capitalize on the early morning 'chillness'. Our team won the toss and as usual batted first. I was lined up in the middle and seven out of ten times it will be in a situation where I will have to slog. This time around although I started of well, but didnt last long as I got out for 12 (Disappointment number one).

Fielding is one of my favourite activities, and since we had lots of fast bowlers they had asked me to do the wicket keeping as we were expecting many nick catches. Without any second thoughts I agreed thinking that it would be the best place to be in the scorching sun but it turned otherwise. As expected lots of nick were there but all were thick edges and it went for runs! and I had to run all the way back to field since we had no slip.

In one of those attempt to stop the ball, the ground being muddy I slipped and fell and thankfully that slip allowed me to stop the ball earlier than expected but none of them in the ground knew I had slipped instead were thinking i slided and stopped the ball showing great committment :D The sad part here is my back was gone!! that was a real ackward drop which my back collided so hard with the ground! :( (it has almost been a week and Im still having the pain :()

Just when I was thinking, ok it is one of those days, a spin bowler bowled and so I stepped up to keep up to the stumps. My bad luck, the first ball, I got hit at a place where it is not supposed to get hit! that ached like anything. For a moment my head started to roll! Although the impact was light, it was a unique kind of pain which is hard to explain and only guys know!

Finally when I headed back home, I thought a good rest would put off all these only to face different kind of problems! When I tried to sleep straight, back was aching and when I tried to front facing downwards, front was aching! I couldnt sit because of back ache. Hmm all I can do now is to say to myself 'All Izzz Well' :)

It has been slightly more than a year since the new phase of my life began. I could see a difference in myself - what I was a year back and what I am now. A simple but funny example would be, during my college days I wouldn't even get the output(desired result) for a single lab exam. What I used do is just sit for 2 hours, browse the net, answer few viva questions without any preparation, knowing that my college staffs will take care of my result. It not only showed my laziness and poor attitude but also the unwillingness to code because I hate coding! Please dont ask then why I joined computer science. Thats for some other day..:)

Today out of nowhere while going to office in the train, I received a call from my module leader asking me to rush to office for an urgent client meeting. I was like thinking, why the hell am I needed for a client meeting. It was supposed to be had with top level client management and from our side the project leader, gm, business analysts and the respective module leaders!

I rushed to office, not even waiting for the lift, climbing up 6 floors only to know that the meeting has been postponed to post lunch! But there was no twist as the time eventually came when we gathered in a very big conference room. I felt odd in that room firstly because I couldn't still imagine myself to be part of it. Secondly no one else were of my level in that room as this time last year I was just a trainee. :D

I came to terms that I am also part of it and started to focus and gain as much as possible. The experience was something out of the world because it was not one of those typical day to day meeting which we have in office internally. I silently observed all the heavy discussion between my side business analysts and the client, posing and having a sitting posture as though even I am a biggie :D, not knowing that the eventual bomb is going to be lashed on me!

When everything concluded, I thought it was just another day, and went for lunch. As soon as I came back, the shocker was revealed - That I need to lead my team for 3development works out of which 2 are going to be developed parallely and for that I will have to lead my team as my current module leader is leaving!

All I had wanted in this project is to run through my contract period, get a transfer and leave but the person above seems to have other ideas but definately I can sense that I am about to practically stand on fire for atleast the next few months.

Now for a person who scraped through all the college lab exams, isn't this a bit too much? :)

Point of Realisation

I am a true believer of the word co-incidence. I feel that from the day I was born till the time what I am now, co-incidence has played a huge role in my life. It is more than just a word for me.

When all things seem to have been going right, I felt I am the best person to have born in this life. But at the same time things have gone terribly wrong as well, and to pass through that period was really tough but end result what I gained through that? EXPERIENCE!. It feels good to love and be loved. However bad 'love' is getting misused in today's world, I am a true lover of that word and I know its worth. I fully understand its meaning and with so much emotions filled in my heart I want to experience it! I want to show how it is done and how correctly it should be done. It is not any movie influence or any other external influence but just my own realisation.

Once upon I time I was given so much love to the extent that I felt gifted and theres nothing else better I can get. But when the tides turned, I realised that everything else I get is better than what I had got in the past and that was the point when I realised that there is a just a thin line lying between the word love and hate. But it is not the case now. Immatureness, temptations and along with that nature had played a huge role in my mannerism or ill say things that I shouldnt have done. The plus point of mine which I am supposed to be using for good effect, I am using for things that I need not necessarily be using it - MEMORY. It is a god given gift that my memory on anyone and anything remains, each and every small incidents with whoever it is meant to be with I can pinpoint it anytime. And when in the case where you have done 1000's of memorable and good things with me, it will erase away the one single unwanted thing which is done with me, however severe it maybe. Now that I am more mature, I know what I want, I can predict what it will lead to and of course I am in a position to risk evaluate it to the point where I know I can never lose what I have gained. Whatever I have lost it was meant for losing and not for winning. I want to win whatever is meant for winning and I badly want to win it because that is worth more than anything, even my own life!

Now, coming back to the topic, Co-incidence has led the way to what I am now. Now I know what I want. The time has come where I need to take a huge step forward in my life. No matter what happens I will have to step in but whether I will step with the right foot forward, again Co-incidense will decide it. But for that to happen, one should realise it, I have realised it.. have you??? yes you!!! :) :)